Ladies and Gentlemen of the Foodie Republic lend me your stomachs! I have been to hamburger heaven and it is delicious! Where is this place you say? Why it’s Good Stuff Eatery.

Good Stuff is the vision of Spike Mendelsohn who among other things was a contestant on Top Chef. Good Stuff is one of those places that always has a line out the door but is worth the wait. They specialize in hamburgers (basic to gourmet), fries (seasoned with rosemary and thyme), and hand spun shakes. This is a good example of when simple ingredients go right. Spike keeps his ingredient list short and fresh which produces some of the best food in DC. Sit-down, take-out, whatever.

The line at Good Stuff can get long so get there early if you plan on having lunch in a reasonable amount of time. When you walk in, immediately get in line. It’s sort of a ‘switch-back’ model that resembles waiting for a roller coaster. The line takes you by the griddle (shown above) where you can see the line cooks churn out burger after burger.

After placing your order you get a nifty buzzer to alert you when your order is ready. It comes in a classic looking bag (above) in just a few minutes. Today was a special day for my visit. My coworkers are doing a ‘Best of DC’ lunch group and today was our stop for ‘Best Milkshake’.

I decided to go all out and get a Farmhouse Burger with Bacon (made to order), Village Fries (the aforementioned season fries), and a chocolate milkshake. Good Stuff is also known for some excellent mayo combinations to give your fries an added kick. Above you can see Chipotle and Sriracha Mayo respectively.

Am I currently full? Did Grizzly Adams have a beard? Let’s just say I’m in an epic food coma and If I were a bear I would be all set for winter hibernation.

Before we headed back to the office we presented Spike with our ‘Best of DC’ award for his milkshakes. He deserves one for his burgers as well in my opinion. If you’re in the area there is no excuse for not stopping by.

12:30PM

Nearing the end of my nutritious lunch, I began to eyeball my banana with a deliciously murderous intent. As I contemplated my plan of attack, Mr. Banana promptly pleaded for his life. He has a wife and baby son who live in my fridge and wants to see them grow up big and strong. Since I’m a reasonable fellow, and mostly full from the rest of my lunch, I decided to delay the decision on his fate until 2PM.

The Introduction of Mr. Banana

1:30PM

Now I’ve given Mr. Banana a solid hour to plead his case while I digest the rest of my lunch. He really doesn’t have anything more to add other than wanting to see his kid grow up and something about there will be consequences if he is killed. Just when I am about to provide him a stay on his execution guess who shows up? None other that Nutella. If you are not familiar, Nutella is a scrumptious badass. Basically he jumps on almost any food and makes it even better. He likes his job. He’s good at his job. When someone questions eating something he gets rather upset.

Well friends, Nutella pulls out a knife and puts it up to Mr. Banana’s throat and says: “If you don’t kill this banana, I will.” That sounded pretty serious and tasty to me.

Nutella rolls up onto the scene and threatens Mr. Banana

1:45PM

At this point, Mr. Banana had to know it was not going to end well. He had a terrible start to his day when he got into my lunch bag and then watched as I devoured a PB&J sandwich, 20 baby carrots, and some crackers. Nutella and I prepared his execution William Wallace-style. Blindfolded, Mr. Banana makes one last plea for his life:

Mr. Banana makes a William Wallace-style final plea

2:00PM

I’m not going to lie. He was delicious and full of potassium. Mr. Nutella added a little extra sweetness to the story as well. I am afraid however that there will be consequences to my actions. As he lay split open on my desk he let out his death rattle:

The bell tolls for thee, Mr. Banana.

I fear the worst that tomorrow I will encounter his kin looking to avenge his death. Will Nutella and I be up for the challenge? Stay tuned to find out!